First Time Mom

Things I Wish Would’ve Been Emphasized

These are just some things I wish people would’ve emphasized about having a baby.

  • Feedings > Crying
    • Let me just start off by saying I had some misconceptions about babies. I thought parents didn’t get much sleep because their baby was up crying all night. That’s not actually true, at least it wasn’t for us, we lost sleep because of Christopher’s need to feed every 2-3 hours. The longest he slept in those first few days was 2.5 hours. He didn’t cry much, unless he was hungry. We were awake every 2-3 hours, even throughout the night, because he was hungry rather than being woken up by him needing to be held.
  • Your Uterus Shrinking
    • I don’t know if I repeatedly skipped the past about this, but I wasn’t prepared for it at all. After you have your baby, over the next week and a half or so, your uterus is going to shrink back down to its normal size. That…was AWFUL. Awful doesn’t even begin to describe it. The first time it was happening, I didn’t realize what was going on, I thought something was wrong. It felt like labor contractions, just one long for 45 minutes (yes, 45 didn’t lessen). Every night for a week straight around 6-7pm, it happened. I was on the ground bawling my eyes out in pain.
    • Turns out, that’s my uterus going back to size! Also turns out, it gets worse when you’re breastfeeding! The first time it happened I was crying and feeding my baby. It was awful. Worse thing about the first time it happened, my husband had misplaced the pain pills that I was discharged with. We didn’t find them until 3 days later. That pain was exactly like a 30-45 minute long contraction. Once i found my pills, I took one around 6pm and it greatly decreased the amount of pain. It was bearable. Please please be prepared for this! Mine lasted a week and a half or so.
  • Sex After Stitches
    • As of today, March 20th, my husband and I have attempted sex once. It ended with me crying. He was sweet, gentle, slow, everything I needed. We talked about it beforehand and he understood. It was still so bad. We upped the foreplay and everything, but I just couldn’t go through with it. Why wasn’t I told about this?!
  • Stitches in General (and Perineal Tears)
    • I had read about tearing and having to get stitches a few times. What I hadn’t read about was the different degrees of tears that one can get. I knew about the full tear going all the way through and making one big hole. I thought that was a myth, it is not a myth! I had a 3rd degree tear and received 26 stitches. Don’t look up a picture of a 3rd degree tear. It’s terrifying. Or maybe I should show it…right? Yeah, I’ll show it. So, scroll quickly if you don’t want to see a 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th degree tear.
    • I feel like in some ways, I got really lucky because it didn’t hurt to pee, I was able to go to the bathroom okay, I didn’t use that pain spray except for a few times (it made me hurt more), I used to peri-bottle to clean rather than relieve pain. I was mostly really really uncomfortable.tears
  • Vaccinations (Will Hurt You More Than Your Baby)
    • Honestly.. the nurse came over and said “Just hold his legs and I will give him the shots. One leg isn’t as bad, but the other side is going to hurt a lot more.” My husband went and hid in the corner. I held my poor beautiful 2 month olds legs and caressed him head as the nurse administered his first shot. Reaction: he took is pretty well. He had had several bilirubin tests done his first week that he didn’t shed a tear at so I knew he’d do okay. Second two shots….
      Image result for crying emojiImage result for crying emojiImage result for crying emojiImage result for crying emoji
      He cried in the most heartbreaking way ever. Thankfully for (mostly us) him, he stopped crying once I was cuddling him and fell asleep as soon as I buckled him back into the car seat. He stayed asleep for the next few hours while we ran a couple errands. He didn’t have any adverse reactions, no swelling, no redness. Trust’ll hurt you more than your baby.
  • Ultrasounds (and What They Tell You)
    • Once Christopher was big enough to get his brain scans done during the ultrasound, the doctors reviewing them began to scare the crap out of us. Christopher had enlarged ventricles on one side of his brain at once of his early ultrasounds. This led to us having to drive 45 minutes to a state of the art facility every month to get repeated scans that focused on measuring his ventricles. Every appointment…they were enlarged. They weren’t getting bigger which was good, but they weren’t going down.
    • The doctors pulled us into dimly lit windowless rooms (where I always imagined being told I was dying) to go over our ultrasounds with us. The first doctor we spoke to scared the ever loving shit out of Marcos. The second doctor explained it better, but still told us all the risks involved with enlarged brain ventricles. There were many. Some as serious as him being born needing immediate surgery. Regardless, he was going to have to have an ultrasound of his head when he was born.
    • When you’re getting these ultrasounds, unless it’s something serious, fatal or obvious I would take it with a grain of salt. They see sooo many things on ultrasounds and legally they have to tell you even the slightest smallest issue.
    • The ultrasound doctors kept telling me we wouldn’t know anything for sure, if his ventricles didn’t get smaller, until he was born. At my last ultrasound the tech even told me that I might need to be induced at 39 weeks due to his large size. They were estimating him to be 10-11lbs. Christopher was born at 8 lbs 11 oz with a big ole head. That’s all it was. He has a big head. When a pediatric doctor came to visit us, she even measured my husbands head and said we were both probably born with big heads as well. You can see a couple pictures of his big ole head here, along with some swelling on the back of his head from the vacuum. His head was like 39 cm at birth.

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